My spa… err heaven???


Ok, so at the end of August, my husband and I went away to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary to a spa hotel. We had booked ourselves a treatment each. He had (well I had done on his behalf truthfully) booked a facial and I had booked a 'Mediteranean Float'… having had a float earlier in the year which I completely fell in love with!
When it was time for my treatment, I left my husband in the room, happily spending time with his laptop and warned him that I was going to have the ultimate in relaxation for the next 85 mins (which would make up for my bad night's sleep) and that I would no doubt return a zombie, so be warned!
Once in the spa, I was picked up by my therapist Amy and taken to the treatment room. In we walked and I saw a bed in the middle… where is the water bed that I have been so longing to lie in and feel all the tension come out of all my body and relax in the way that isn't possible at any other time?? I wondered…

Amy went on to explain how she was going to body brush me from top to bottom, exfoliate my body, apply a marinade and then do a facial. I said, "I thought this was a float?" "Yes," she replied, "It is called a float but it isn't actually one. I'm not quite sure why they do that!" and got on with preparing the room as if it really wasn't an issue.
I, however, could have cried!
I lay on the bed, on my back, under the towel, wearing the paper thong as I had been instructed and Amy began. The lights were dimmed and the music was soothing. I tried to calm myself from the immense disappointment as what can only be described as a bed bath, like in a hospital ward, began!

She lifted the towel off my legs and began to brush in an upward motion and then said, "Are you happy for me to do your stomach and breasts?" Happy?? Are you kidding??? Of course I'm not happy!! Now if she had said "Would you like me to do your stomach and breasts?" I would have politely replied, "No, that's OK thank you" and all would have been well – but no, she didn't ask that did she? She said "AM I HAPPY" to have my stomach and breasts done… 
Of course, not wanting to be a prude, I calmly lied "Sure, yes please!" 
And so the agony began!! Like I said, I'll not bore you with the entire story here on my QVC blog but suffice to say it was quite the ordeal!! Body brush, porridge-like exfoliant, hot cloths, hot oils, moisturiser – it was like a Carry On Bed Bath!!!
Later on I returned to our room, my husband's face eagerly awaiting my anticipated zombie state. "How was it?" he gently asked. "She brushed my boobs!" was all I could say! 
Read the entire ordeal here!


  1. Joanne Rose September 24, 2010 at 6:59 pm -  Reply

    hi pipa
    you do make me laugh your teatment sounds like hell now i think i would have a big glass of red wine or two and a big peace of choclate cake do that next time x

  2. rebecca robinson September 25, 2010 at 4:40 pm -  Reply

    Oh Pipa, that is funny. Isn’t it strange that we never say what we actually want to say in situations like this? I dare say, you won’t be booking that treatment again!! Congratulations on the 10 year anniversary by the way. I must say i do enjoy watching when you are presenting as you are very funny with some great stories. Nickys face from Lola Rose was a picture when you were telling this story on Friday.

  3. greta September 25, 2010 at 6:57 pm -  Reply

    Pipa you are so funny ! I was watching you on Friday when you told Nikki! It really cheered up my Friday(: thank you obviously not fun for you at the time but I am glad you can see the funny side now! I would of done the exact same thing so your not alone. Thank you for sharing this story and Congratulations on your wedding anniversary too. Best wishes Love Greta xx

  4. Pauline Johnson September 25, 2010 at 8:35 pm -  Reply

    Oh Pippa I feel so sorry for you,it must have been torture,let alone the embaressment,I think I would have walked out,fuming about how much it had cost.Still at least you will know better the next time if there is one.

  5. sylvia September 27, 2010 at 11:27 am -  Reply

    Oh Pipa you made me crease up with laughter at your experience!The worst thing being,you had to pay money for this.Its like going to the dentist and having agonising treatment,then having to pay good money for the pain!You are a great presenter and I love watching you and hearing all your stories.Keep up the good work.Take Care.x

  6. Pipa September 27, 2010 at 11:55 am -  Reply

    Hi ladies – thanks for your consolation, you’re right Pauline I could have walked out but I could see that I’d love telling the story! I lay back and kept thinking “I’ve got to write about this, I’ve got to write about this” ….every single time I think about it, I start laughing and for that single reason, I suppose I got more than my money’s worth – next time I’ll double check before booking!!!!!

  7. Debbie G September 29, 2010 at 11:58 am -  Reply

    Hi Pip!
    This is SO funny! The problem is you just can’t be assertive when you’ve got no clothes on! It’s really weird!
    I would have cried. It’s like being promised chocolate and then being forced to eat dry Shredded Wheat!
    Send Ali Young in to sort them out, that’s what I’d do. That’ll learn’em!

  8. Susan September 29, 2010 at 7:50 pm -  Reply

    Pipa how awful!! A similar thing happened to me once & i won’t be doing it again! Too awkward!! You do think oh I don’t want to be a time I will think I’m quite happy being labelled a prude!!!
    Take care & Happy belated Anniversary!
    Susan x

  9. Pipa October 4, 2010 at 7:51 pm -  Reply

    Ha ha Debbie – dried shredded wheat!! Brilliantly put!! And thanks Susan – I think next time I’ll just double check that I’ve booked myself in on the right treatment! Ah well, it still makes me giggle when I think about it so I guess I got my money’s worth but in a different way!

  10. Susan October 6, 2010 at 4:25 pm -  Reply

    Lol just right Pipa! At least it’ll be a memorable anniversary anyway!!

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