The joys of being a mother and a daughter…

28

Claire, her mum and MaddieAs we approach 10th March, Mother's Day (QVC will be celebrating on 4th March), I paused to reflect and thought how incredibly lucky I am to have my Mummy with me and to have the joys of a daughter too.

For many, I am aware Mother's Day can be an occasion of sadness, memories and desperation as their loved ones are no longer with them and that saddens me, so I feel I should ensure that it's a day in my life to be very grateful and to celebrate.


Claire's mumIn some ways my Mummy and I are identical! We sound alike and I look like her when she was my age, I even wear some of her cheeky little numbers from her younger days! They bring back memories of when I used to watch avidly as she got ready for an evening out and magically transformed from teacher to glamour puss. 

Gorgeous clothes, layers of mascara, how to colour my hair AND my heated roller hair transformation… all learnt from my gorgeous Mummy. It makes me smile now when she asks me to do her make-up for her, does she not realise she was the BEST teacher !


In other ways we are oh so different!

Claire and her mum at her 40th birthdayShe is organised, efficient and time managed, except when it comes to crossing things off  her 'list'. I lack all of those attributes but I've noticed that although I must totally frustrate/annoy her with my last minute-ness she has over the years accepted that that is just how I work… and she lets me be me. As indeed she has all my life.

Now that I have children and am juggling madly the balance of work and my precious family I appreciate EVEN more all that she did for me, particularly as she had to do it alone. My Daddy died when I was 13; she had my brothers and I to protect, love , nurture and guide through such a difficult and emotional time, whilst coping with her own sadness. How she did it I'll never know.

The most wonderful thing has happened for my Mummy and that is, well the sparkle is back. A gorgeous gentleman who was part of our lives when I was a little girl growing up in Rochdale has reappeared into her life and it's soooooo lovely to witness the transformation that happiness can bring and so so deserved.

She gives me strength when I need it, advice when I ask for it (and plenty of times when I don't!), support when I am unsure and questioning about the decisions I take for my first born son Tom, who has Downs Syndrome. She loves to tell Maddie that she is "just like her mother" and I know is thrilled to see her own mother's artistic brilliance bursting out of Joseph .

Claire and Maddie 2I love my Mummy and I KNOW she loves me. How lucky I am and how lucky I am to have a daughter. I am still so enthralled with her nearly nine years after her birth and though I adore Tom, Joe and Maddie, the joys and the angst I experience seeing my daughter growing are so particular.

I remember the utter euphoria I felt when it was announced that indeed Daddy was right and my baby bump was actually a girl.

I barely slept that night and just stared at this tiny little girl who with her arrival had completed my family. I had truly felt that I was carrying another boy and quite frankly just felt so very lucky to be having my third child and was just praying for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. I knew myself well enough to know that my dream of a daughter was an intense desire though and Dan did worry I'm sure that I would renege on our three children plan. So, relief from him on all accounts – a healthy baby AND a girl!!

Claire and Maddie Claire's mum and maddie

I have such different children and obviously having a child with special needs alters the dynamics within our family but I am oh so proud of all three and the way they interact with each other and with Tom in particular, he makes my heart swell. To see Maddie jostling for her position, much as I did (I too have two brothers) is so amusing and yet sooo familiar.

Her bedroom is the messy one; her 'precious' stuff takes over the house! She is indignant, a tad bossy with her brothers and she really makes us laugh with her antics. For fear of sounding too much like a bragging mother (but who cares! ) I think my girlie is deeeeelicious – she is kind, thoughtful, makes a wicked cup of tea and has a nature which I wish I had. I adore her and loving her is a dream.

Claire XX

28 Comments

  1. Davina Morris March 4, 2013 at 4:06 pm -  Reply

    Claire,
    What a lovely blog. I am glad your mum has found some happiness again after all this time. I’m sure she dotes on you as much as you do your daughter.
    Sadly, as you know my mum is no longer with us, for me to show how much she was appreciated & loved. Being single, i have no children of my own but my sister has 2 daughters and they have since had children, so am able to show some love & guidance to my nieces & great nieces & great nephew.
    I sometimes get caught up in other things instead of finishing off what i was already doing or had planned & then get into trouble for being distracted(typical Saggitarian). i really must write that letter to you & enclose the photo’s i promised!! *coughs*
    Hope you have a wonderful Mothers Day & i’ll get you dancing yet young lady!!
    Davina xx

  2. Susan March 4, 2013 at 5:08 pm -  Reply

    Claire you’ve done it again! You’re way with words is beautiful. It is such a joy to read your blogs. It is wonderful to have an insight into your life and you cope with the busyiness and of course added complications by having a child with special needs, soo amazingly. I don’t think you need wish that you had ANY other nature than the one you have. You’re fabulous. Take care and hope you enjoy your mother’s day xx

  3. Joanna Downey March 4, 2013 at 5:33 pm -  Reply

    Dear Claire, What lovely words and photographs. You have written on numerous occasions about your relationship with your mother – the love you have for her and your pride in the way she has coped with what life has thrown at her are clear for all to see. We also know what a wonderful AND fun mummy you are and the joy your family gives you. Wishing you and your mother a super Mothering Sunday. Love from Jo x

  4. Kay Salisbury March 4, 2013 at 10:41 pm -  Reply

    Hi CLAIRE-i had my lovely son first and was so happy-never thought I’d have a daughter-no idea why- so when my next babba was a girl I grinned for 6 months-how clever was I???? and kept thinking to have ‘one of each’ was scarily too lucky—-then had another daughter and they are such a blessing—I adore my son-now 30, married with children etc but my girls are fab-great friends and comfort—how lucky am I??? I look after their girls most days and have transformed from a Tomboy who had 2 brothers to a lady with lots of girls around me.Great.Enjoy your beautiful girl and realise how lucky your mum has always felt to have YOU. Love K.X

  5. claire sutton March 5, 2013 at 4:21 pm -  Reply

    Hi Davina,
    Thank you for your reply and yes this year I know will be a tough one for you on Sunday….its that phrase, you don’t know what you’ve got till its gone…though I’m very sure you did and she knew too.
    So , checking the post….fancy using your star sign as an excuse..( bossy Arian don’t you know!),
    Speak soon,
    my love to you, Claire x

  6. claire sutton March 5, 2013 at 4:23 pm -  Reply

    Afternoon Susan,
    AAAH Thank you ever so much, I love that you write back to me, and with such lovely kind things…much appreciated!
    C xxx

  7. claire sutton March 5, 2013 at 4:26 pm -  Reply

    Jo,
    Will you be seeing the girls on Sunday? LUCKILY IN BETWEEN MUMMYS JAUNTS UP AND DOWN THE COUNTRY SHE AND I WILL BE TOGETHER…oops caps on!
    IT’S TRULY LOVELY SEEING THE SPRING SPRINGING!!oooops caps again.Opened up Gypsy this weekend, chilly but wonderful,
    Have a lovely Sunday…2 world book day cossies to craft later! better crack on,
    xxx

  8. claire sutton March 5, 2013 at 4:30 pm -  Reply

    Kay,
    Hello, i smiled at the “how clever” bit you wrote, it really is all a bit spectacular isn’t it? And how lovely that you’ve ended up surrounded so to speak!
    As I write my girls is the only one of my 3 I’m not worrying about…today anyway!!!.more to come! xx

  9. Steven March 5, 2013 at 7:24 pm -  Reply

    I agree with Susan Claire! I geton really well with my Mother too. I think sosns and Mothers have a special relationship dont you or do you think different with your kids?
    Lovely blog take care and enjoy your own Mothers Day
    Love Steven xx

  10. Linda March 5, 2013 at 11:56 pm -  Reply

    Hi Claire, Just like me (only in a different era mine was the sixties flower power time) a teenager thats daddy had died when I was sixteen. I was the oldest of five. My mummy is 90 in April and we are all going to have such a celebration. It was hard losing our wonderful dad but I still treasure all the wonderful memories. I’m so looking forward to Mother’s day for me its my four children and eight grandchildren and wonderful mummy. Have a lovely mothers day with your gorgeous mummy (yes you are both so alike) and your lovely children. Love Linda xx

  11. Joanna Downey March 6, 2013 at 6:39 pm -  Reply

    Hello Claire, Just a reply to your question – no response expected – Bex is on holiday so I won’t see her and Ellie and I haven’t made plans because I’m the mum who isn’t interested in Mothering Sunday. I know they love me and I truly hope they like me but I don’t need or want cards (waste of money) or flowers (prices go up for this day). I don’t need any more things; I have lots of jewellery and always buy my own perfumes. I believe in “the magic of ordinary days” and it’s on those that I have the best times with my girls. Mothering Sunday is always on a date close to my mother’s birthday and my parents’ anniversary so it used to be party time for all of us and after 11 years I still find it a difficult day. However, I can understand that others are different and again I wish you and yours a lovely day. Love from Jo x

  12. Trisha-Ann Hutchinson March 7, 2013 at 12:39 pm -  Reply

    Dear Claire, I just want to thank you for your kindness and thoughtfulness in acknowledging that Mother’s day is not the same for everyone and that for some of us who have lost our beloved Mother’s in very difficult circumstances it is something to be endured and not enjoyed. You are a special lady and your words are always kind and thoughtful and mean a great deal to us people that are struggling to deal with the pain of loss. Thank you so much special lady.

  13. Susan March 8, 2013 at 6:13 pm -  Reply

    Hi Jo,
    Jo really interesting response and I have to say I get where you’re coming from! I’m glad you wrote it down as we’re all different. I have to say I’m more and more conscious of friends who have lost parents and partners etc so I never get really ‘gushy’ about it I have to say.
    Enjoy your ‘regular special days’!!
    Susan x

  14. Michelle Rollingson March 10, 2013 at 9:39 am -  Reply

    A very touching, heartfelt story – thank you for sharing. I am the second born, with a brother either side of me. Even in my adult years I have to jostle for my position as ‘the jam in the sandwich’ . . . and to be heard! My mum and I share a special bond. We share girly days and girly chats. I have a career and mum sometimes believes she is far too old to give me advice about the relationships and dynamics at work, but humans repeat their behavioural patterns and her advice is always valid.

  15. STELLA March 10, 2013 at 3:19 pm -  Reply

    I have a son and daughter, both grown up. I am a grandma too to my daughter’s two cheeky boys. There is something just so wonderful about having a daughter – she is my friend, but still asks for advice from me as her mum. We laugh – and cry – uncontrollably together and we have the closest bond, which I hope will continue for ever. I am blessed to be mum to such a truly lovely young woman.

  16. Janette Armer March 10, 2013 at 6:17 pm -  Reply

    Dear Claire , Thank you for mentioning that not all of us will be with our mums celebrating Mothers Day, I lost mine ten years ago, and a special day like today brings me sadness, but as a mum and grandma a tinge of happiness too, grandson number two is due in the next four weeks and I’m sure my mum is looking down on all of us(and dad too) wishing they could be with us to celebrate too. Wonderful story about your mum and daughter., brought a tear to my eye!

  17. C Williams March 13, 2013 at 12:29 am -  Reply

    I lost my beloved Mum 21 years ago. Her name was Marjorie and she was my role model for motherhood. I love and miss my Mum so very much. I don’t think I will ever aspire to her patience!!! but I hope that I am giving my two wonderful children the type of blissful childhood that my Mum and Dad gave me! Never a moment passed that I was not aware of how very much I was loved, supported and cherished. I think you are am amazing Mum. Always so positive and touchingly honest. God Bless all us Mums!!!

  18. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 11:37 am -  Reply

    Steven, the mother/daughter day was a girly lovely day at QVC but, I did feel a little sad not to salute all the wonderful sons out there.. Like you ! I too feel totally that my boys are just fabulous and well.. The beautiful things Joe my 10 year old says and writes to me are just spectacular.
    Lovely hearing from you, Claire x

  19. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 11:41 am -  Reply

    Linda, what a wonderful celebration ahead of you in April. I so hope it’s a fabulous day plus a chance for you all to be together. I helped my mummy for her 70th party and had a photographer and I then put together a photo book from photo box with all the pictures for her to share, the one of Maddie, me and mummy was from that evening. Mind you with your large family you may need extra pages to hold all your pics!
    Love Claire xx

  20. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 11:44 am -  Reply

    Trisha-Anne… I am so pleased to hear from you as I have thought of you often since we first spoke on my blog. I know you are struggling and I hope you are being supported. Please keep in touch and if there is anything I can do I am here… Wave the magic wand I know…. I so wish I could for you.
    With my love . Claire xxx

  21. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 11:48 am -  Reply

    Hello Mrs Jam in the Sandwich !!! That made me giggle, though I’m sure was not funny ALL the time! I hope you had a lovely day on Sunday, I certainly did and had a good couple of hours, just mummy and I discussing oh so much in bed on the Sunday morning. Really lovely to have the chance to.
    Thank you for chatting back with me on my blog, with love Claire x

  22. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 11:51 am -  Reply

    Oh Stella, what a wonderful reply and so so special to read your words about your precious daughter and for sharing how you feel about her. She sounds simply EXCELLENT!!! Much love Claire x

  23. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 11:55 am -  Reply

    Janette, ten years , less or more, it still hurts and I understand when special things happen it seems more pronounced that they have missed out, mind you it’s the ordinary bits that catch us unawares I find. I am thrilled to hear there will be another grandson arriving oh so soon!!! How simply lovely, I wish you all a joyful time ahead, With my love Claire x

  24. Claire_sutton@qvc.com March 13, 2013 at 12:00 pm -  Reply

    C, I apologise for not using your name but wanted to thank you for your reply to me. Marjorie your mum has been thought of not just by you and your family, but by me and all who have read your words. So we are sparkling her memory. She certainly would be so very proud to know she has been your role model and is that not the nicest thing to say…that you want to repeat the blissful childhood you were given for your family. She did a fine job!!!
    Much love to you and thank you for such kind words . C xx

  25. Gwen Tugwell March 13, 2013 at 2:20 pm -  Reply

    Hello Lovely Claire,
    Thank you for another lovely blog, reduced me to tears yet again.I lost my lovely Mum fifteen years ago and it realy does’nt get any easier, but I am blessed with the most wonderful kind and caring Son and on Mothering Sunday I was so spoilt so now have more magical memories to store away. So happy for your mummy, please keep up your lovely stories, I knoww that we all look forward to hearing from you.
    Love Gwen in very snowy Brighton.

  26. martin forbes bucksburn aberdeen March 14, 2013 at 6:58 pm -  Reply

    hi claire.
    hoper you are well
    i am not bad.

  27. h March 20, 2013 at 8:18 pm -  Reply

    Dear Trisha-Ann (and Claire), please let me know if your ok as i know what blog of Claires that you are referring to. You are not alone, please let us know if you are ok. So sorry to be nosey, just concerned that all is well.
    Helen S

  28. Trisha-Ann Hutchinson March 25, 2013 at 4:52 pm -  Reply

    Dear Helen,
    I tried to reply but QVC did not print it (I think I was too honest) so I am not sure if this will work, anyway I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and concern, I am still here (just) but struggling big time, I won’t write more as I hope they will print it this time.
    Thank you again, it means a great deal to me.
    Trisha-Ann

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